I am physically and mentally exhausted. Grad school is in full-swing, and writing this blog post is just a way to procrastinate from writing about information. It’s weird being a grad student in my parents’ kitchen versus sitting in a classroom discussing the topic of information with my peers. Somehow online discussion groups just don’t compare. Oh, online classes. But I digress.
When I left Kent, I believed I was leaving my home. And at the time I was. I was leaving behind my friends who made life worth living and who made me better understand myself as a person. Now, I only still consistently talk to a handful of those people. Now I have a new life in Pittsburgh, with new friends, a new church, and a new perspective.
But I still feel like a fish out of water. I always joked in college that you can take the girl out of Pittsburgh, but you can’t take the Pittsburgh out of the girl. Now I wonder if there was ever any Pittsburgh in me to begin with. If there was even any Ohio in me to begin with. I used to believe that there’s one place where we all belong and that we need to find that place. Now I’m not so sure. Since I’m still going to grad school through Kent State, that tie isn’t cut, but I’m living in Pittsburgh and wondering what I’m doing here. I wonder if I have a gypsy heart, where I’m not meant to stay in one place forever. I left my heart in Ohio, but now it’s tied to Pittsburgh again. Still yet, a third of it wants to escape somewhere entirely new. This is an odd revelation. But I guess this is my eternal lesson in patience. Learning to appreciate where you are now, not always trying to jump ahead to where you will be. And right now, I have a discussion post to write. Whoops.